If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “I’m afraid to talk to men” you need to know how to get over the fear. There might be several reasons why you feel scared to talk to them, but the sooner you open up, you will set yourself free. Here, we will help you recover from such a syndrome where your mind is processed to have fear while talking to men.
Why I’m afraid to talk to men?
Have you ever asked yourself, “I’m afraid to talk to men?” If you haven’t, it is time you realize as that’s the only way you can fight it. Check out some of the common reasons why you might be scared of men:
1. Not having the right foundation
Our parents make our foundation in life but when things go wrong on a basic level, people tend to fret. This is applicable to both men and women. Even being a man, you can be scared to talk to men because you have not had the right fatherly figure.
2. Being physically abused
From being beaten to getting raped, this world is not alien to physical assaults. One of the major reasons why people are scared of men is due to this fear. Many women get assaulted by their relatives, husbands, and even fathers. Such traumatic experiences can make you want to stay away from men.
3. Not being able to come out
While homosexuality might be legalized in many countries it is still a threat in most parts of the world. If you are homosexual, you have probably been afraid of coming out. You might be scared of men because you don’t know if they too take interest in men. You might have the fear of rejection and humiliation. In such cases too, people are scared to approach men.
If you have been brought up in a patriarchal environment where you were never allowed to open up to men, you can be scared of them. Many women have an idea that men are scary, dominating, and that they rule them. They are first ruled by their fathers and then by their husbands. They are not even allowed to mix with men or make friends. Such women can also be afraid of men.
5. Past experiences
If you’re saying I’m afraid to talk to men because of past experiences, you might have a painful history. It can be an abusive relationship, bad foundation, or second-hand experiences you heard.
How to get over the fear of men?
It is 2019 and thankfully some parts of the world are more liberal and understanding than how it was before. You need to know how to talk to men but first, you need to get over the fear you have. Check out how to get over this fear and talk to men:
1. Accept and let go
If you had a bad foundation or you have been physically assaulted you need to give yourself time to heal. But you must also know that once years have passed you need to pick yourself and live again. There comes a point in time when we need to make peace with our past and let it go.
2. Realize that not all men are the same
You might have come across the worst men in life, but that doesn’t mean they are all the same. You need to understand that one person or a few people doing wrong doesn’t mean everyone is bad. Open up to people who are trying to be nice to you and allow them to make a difference. If there are men who are approaching you, don’t block them from how they’re trying to help.
3. Find your community
From dating apps to Facebook groups, there are many places to find likeminded. If you are homosexual and you’re not being able to approach people face to face, start finding likeminded people online. It might not give you the best experience but you might be able to know stories from other men like you.
Being a part of the LGBTQ community is a pride and you must adorn that. No matter how long you take to come out never be apologetic about who you are. When you are confident people will find that in you and you will shine amongst all.
4. Break free
Just because you had a disturbed marriage or childhood doesn’t mean the rest of your life is going to be bad. You need to challenge your destiny and make things work the way you want to. You have to let go of your bad experiences and break free.
5. Try counseling
If you think that no matter what you do you cannot get over the fear, you might need counselling. Unless you speak to someone and let it all out, you might not be able to move on in life. If possible, choose a male counselor – it might do the trick and serve you both ways!
6. Seek for that one man
All through our life, we come across many men. Look out for that one man you think can bring you out of such vulnerability. It can be your grandfather or your Godfather, it can be your teacher or your mentor. Take help from that person and he might help you change everyone’s perspective.
7. Try to understand men
Without settling for or accepting the patriarchal society our world belongs to, try to understand how men are and why they are like that. You shouldn’t agree with the wrong things they do but understand what made them like that and how. It might help you make peace with yourself if not get over the fear completely.
These are some of the ways that will stop making you say, “I’m afraid to talk to men”. You need to open up and let people have their space to be able to prove that not all of them are bad. No matter how bad things have been or how worse they get, not all men are scary or harmful.