Self-esteem makes a human being complete, but we often miss out on the real meaning of the term., self-esteem is your self-worth and the way you rate yourself based on courage, capability, and so on. It is a part of all your success and also the reason for several failures. You must have enough self-esteem to have a positive mindset and to know the difference between right and wrong. In this article, you will get to know about The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, which is a book, Nathaniel Branden.
Branden is known as one of the pioneers in the field of psychological writing, and this book is one of his most beautiful works. The style in which he writes is brilliant and yet very approachable and accessible. Further, what you will read is not six pillars of self-esteem summary, but a few of the fantastic ideas that Nathaniel Branden has tried to put forward. We should all make some effort to apply such philosophies and ideas in our lives.
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem is a book that teaches us that self-esteem is more of a practice than just an affirmation. Moreover, it is always a good feeling to read inspiring words coming from pioneers and intellectuals. However, what we follow later turns into our self-esteem. According to Nathaniel Branden, a practice happens when we develop discipline and try to apply it repeatedly in our lives. In the upcoming section, we will discuss a few such ‘practices’ that will enhance our self-esteem.
Life lessons from The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
The psychology of self-esteem is quite philosophical, and so you must understand the six pillars of self-esteem summary to live life better.
1. Living consciously
The first out of the six pillars of self-esteem is how to live deliberately. In the entire book, author Nathaniel Branden has put a lot of stress on the importance of completing sentences. According to him, it is one of the most important tools that can help you to live life more consciously.
Branden also adds that the task of sentence completion is straightforward though we never give it a thought. You have to think of a sentence such as “conscious living for you means…”, and now you complete the other half of the sentence. Make sure you are thinking of definite answers about yourself. You are free to think of anything, and there is no specific rule of what should complete your sentence.
From this exercise, you will come up with a more positive mindset about yourself. As a result, you will be a more confident person. The task of sentence completion helps in self-raising and personal effectiveness. What you will find out is that you are already more knowledgeable than you had thought of till now. You are wiser than you think, and your true potential is a lot more than you show usually.
2. Self-acceptance
In his book, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Branden has come up with words of wisdom that can change your life completely. He has described the requirement of ‘self-acceptance’ in the most beautiful way. He says that human beings, while trying to run from their dark side, also leave behind a significant part of the brighter sides too. Self-esteem is everything that makes us feel more confident and individual. It is what makes us feel unique about ourselves and also enhances our integrity. Therefore, according to the six pillars of self-esteem, while we try to disown or deny our disabilities, we end up leaving behind a few great things about us too.
Adding to all of it, Branden says that there is nothing as silly as not owning up to our shortcomings. It is because not being entirely true to yourself directly harms your self-esteem and pulls it down. So, if you want to walk the path of healing, make sure you first understand the meaning of acceptance and awareness. Along with that follows an advanced concept of integration and consciousness too.
3. Self- responsibility
Next, under the six pillars of self-esteem comes self-responsibility. You must take up responsibility for your actions and choices. However, to be responsible does not always meaning accepting you are guilty. Instead, it means taking responsibility for whatever happens in your life, including how you behave. You become responsible for every time you respond healthily and positively to any situation. You must understand that taking responsibility for your actions does not make you a victim. Instead, you become more independent and can take full credit whenever you fulfill your desires.
4. Self-assertiveness
You prove authenticity if you practice self-assertiveness regularly. Branden adds that authenticity in a person means that he speaks out from the innermost feelings and convictions. Under the six pillars of self-esteem, the one for self-assertiveness means to be real. The book says that both the words ‘authentic’ and ‘author’ are interrelated. So, if you being authentic means, you are the author of your own story.
In his book, Branden mentions Warren Bennis, who is the founder of the Leadership Institute under the Southern California University. He is also one of the most famous names in the field of leadership studies. His works are some of the best to understand self-actualization. He tells people to express themselves in the best way and to live their lives how they desire.
5. Living with a purpose
Living purposefully means that you thrive towards achieving all your selected goals and dreams. For example, studying your favorite subject, spending time with your family, raising children, building a house, starting a business, and so on. Goals make us function better and also lead us forward in life.
The combination of goals, dreams, achievements, and failure is what gives us energy and makes our existence substantial. So, it is time you think about your goals and what inspires you the most. The answers to these are not to impress others. You will have to find them to understand the importance of ideals and values.
According to the psychology of self-esteem, human beings often forget to question themselves. For example, if your goal is to raise children, have you ever considered what you should be doing next? You must find out all that you need to do so that you can achieve trust, growth, love, respect, and so on. These are all that will build the base of your goal, and help you to make them. According to Nathaniel Branden, there is no point in having goals and dreams if you do not have a plan of action to follow.
6. Personal integrity
There will be a complete disintegration in the process of the other five pillars if you lack personal integrity. Proper integration of ideas, behavior, convictions, beliefs, standards, and so on together forms integrity.
A person has integrity when you have similar behavior, and your practice and ideals match perfectly. So, it is you who has to judge whether your ideas, beliefs, standards, and convictions form a symmetry. Besides, you must also know to decide whether all the required qualities mentioned are there in you. Only if the answer is definite, you can assess your well-being correctly.
In the Six Pillars of Self-Esteem book, the author says that even small improvements can create remarkable differences. Also, those mentioned above are all probable ways to enhance the quality of living. You do not have to follow them correctly to score 100%. However, you should follow as much as you can to achieve your goals and dreams in life.
Benefits of having high self-esteem
A significant question regarding the topic is, “what are the six pillars of self-esteem and why are they important?” In the previous section, we have covered the first part of the question, and now we are trying to hide the latter half of it. Healthy self-esteem is the primary reason for all the positive that happens to you. It further helps you to keep calm in every situation and to cut through all difficulties with your head held high. Self-esteem is what tells you to judge every case is the most positive way.
In the society that we live, you will always find people and situations that require your time and focus. While satisfying such requirements, you are indirectly fulfilling the needs of other people. However, what you must keep in mind is that such a task does not take a toll on your life. It is because, when you are too busy and do not focus on yourself, your self-esteem starts to fall low. Moreover, most of you will not realize when this happens until the time you face an extreme situation. Therefore, it is always good to help others, but make sure you do not harm your self-esteem during the journey.
Six pillars of self-esteem quotes and benefits
You can check out the benefits of high self-esteem from the following points.
1. Being yourself
In the words of Andre Gide, “Be faithful to which exists within yourself.” You know you are successful in life when you live in on your terms. Each one of you out there has a different purpose, goals, vision, and value. Such are the things that develop the identity of a person. It is not easy to come out from a shell and start living your life on your terms. However, that is precisely what can make you the happiest.
It is hard to believe, but most of the time, it is our peers, according to whom we try to shape our lives. While the truth is, living according to someone else’s terms means striving to live up to their standards and fulfilling their goals and dreams.
You must understand that we are all unique, and the basis of identity can never be the same for any two people. When you have high self-esteem, it makes you a good listener and learner. You will absorb the useful recommendations and suggestions from others with an open mind. However, you know what you have to do for yourself.
2. Accepting disagreement
Madonna says, “I am my experiment. I am my work of art”. Everyone has different opinions and views about all that happens in life. Such ideas are valuable for us to function properly in life. They also help us decide what our next action must.
There are several decisions that you will make in life. They will all be based on evidence and opinions. However, not every experience, proof, or opinion works for us. It is you who has to judge which one to adopts and what to leave behind.
Having high self-esteem helps you to fight your shortcomings and also helps you to learn from your own experiences. Self-esteem also enables you to understand that it is reasonable to be wrong according to someone else. We all have views, and it is alright to differ at times.
3. Accepting new challenges
According to Shannon Ladler, “One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others want you to b, rather than being yourself.” There are always two ways of handling an unexpected situation. One, you will be scared of failure because you know you have not done anything like that before. The other way is to look at it like it is a new challenge and take it as a learning experience. It must be clear by now that the first is for the ones who lack self-esteem, and the second one is for the fighters.
4. Your welcome uncertainty
Dan Pearce says, “People who love themselves don’t hurt other people. The more we hate ourselves, the more we want other people to suffer”. One of the causes of procrastination is to have certainty in life. If you do not have that, you will always try to hide away from taking responsibilities. It happens mainly because you feel you might not be good at something. Having high self-esteem means you will still be eager to try new things. It is not necessary to be perfect all the time, but you must try new things in life and not stay back fearing failure.
Final thoughts
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem might be a book for some. For others, it teaches life lessons. Such words of wisdom are precious, and you can surely become a better person if you follow those.
